Top Ten

Because of his job, my father occasionally has to work different shifts than his typical day shift. When I was younger, his shift work created a special opportunity for me since my mother, who claimed she wouldn't sleep well alone, would invite me to share her bed for the night. When this happened in the summer, we would stay up late talking and watching late night TV. Occasionally we made it through Carson and would watch just enough Letterman to catch the top 10 list.

So, in that tradition, (though probably not quite as funny) I present: the Top Ten Signs that Tori is "back in the game."

10. I completed my Masters degree.
9. I refer to my life in terms of "Pre-Columbian", "Colonization" and "Post Colonial" periods, in an attempt to be humorous to those familiar with Latin American history.
8. I forget what days my favorite web comics are published and am able to catch up on them a week or more at a time.
7. I am gaining weight (not that I'm thrilled by this, but since the loss was due to not being able to eat, I'm kind of OK with it.)
6. I am attending the "Preparing for Celestial Marriage" institute class. (Or this is a sign that I'm a huge masochist. Take your pick)
5. I've rejoined the ward choir. (I definitely needed a break from this for a while.)
4. I'm doing visiting teaching and actually looking forward to having a calling in the ward.
3. I have a job (and have offered to teach a class to those at church who don't have jobs, similar to the classes they give to those of us who aren't married, encouraging them to fast and pray for jobs because obviously it's a matter of faith! I mean, I just can't understand why someone wouldn't be able to find a great job if they have enough faith. I haven't had any problems with it! /sarcasm)
2. I realize how completely self-absorbed I've been for the past several months. My apologies to all the friends I've lost touch with...I'm getting better, I promise!
1. I am wearing high heels every chance I get (and phooey to any one who takes issue with it!)

a strange name for the end

Who ever heard of a Friday commencement? I mean, it's strange enough that they call it commencement, placing the emphasis not on what you've accomplished by finishing a degree but on what you will accomplish as you are unleashed on an unsuspecting world, but why would you poise it at the end of the week?

Despite the rather inconvenient day, my family came out to celebrate with me. I walked of course, figuring that as I hadn't walked down the aisle it was the least I could do. Besides, black is way more flattering on me than white...although this gown definitely didn't emphasize my waist the same way the white one did. Anyway, Mom, Dad, Grandma Whaley and Daniel were there and very proud of all I had accomplished.

Since two of the four have mobility challenges, I encouraged them to skip the big graduation ceremony, which included all undergraduate and graduate students receiving degrees and was held in the basketball gymnasium, and go right for the degree and hooding ceremony which was held on the Peabody lawn, about five blocks from the commencement.

So I sat by myself in the rather large gym. And I saw my classmates, whom I only really knew casually. Somehow I missed on the socializing with classmates bit, in part because I had this awesome fiance and in part because I was rather depressed when he proved less than awesome. And I saw the woman who got engaged the same week as me...she still has her ring and is still planning her wedding. And I thought about how much I accomplished, even finishing this program. My grades stayed high and for all intents and purposes, my breakup was just a blip on the radar.

Of course, it felt like a whole lot more. And I am still evaluating the way I've changed emotionally, trying to decide what parts are good to keep and which I need to get rid of. But my rapid professional and mental recovery give me hope that I will get the rest back too.

So, I'm very glad I didn't opt to put my married name on the diploma (and yes, it had been a consideration...I had to decide mid January.) And no, my graduation day wasn't as I had pictured it the day I made that decision. But it was a note worthy event...and I was glad for an excuse to celebrate.

pig flu

It's definitely not appropriate to mock the current health concerns that are rising from Mexico. I'm sure many people are going through a difficult time physically and emotioanlly right now.

But, in my opinion, it's never premature to mock the ignorance and hysteria that our culture promotes.

Swine flu is not caused by sex with pigs. If you had to ask about this, I really don't want to know about it.

Twitter is not a reliable source for information about pandemics.

The news media, as reported in the previous post, is more interested in raising ratings and covering their back sides than reporting truth. Thus, you can count on them to raise hysteria more than reporting facts.

The Center for Disease Control and World Health Organization are your best bet. Seriously.

And for something not so serious, try this.

when fair and balanced isn't

I became the owner of a television for the first time when I moved to Tennessee. I don't mean to imply that I never watched television or lived in a house with a television before, but it simply was not a financial priority for me. And since living here, I only have basic cable and get most of my news from reading various internet sources.

Still, a lot of people get most of their news and opinions from television news. Which is why I think this story is so important. I've always known news was slanted, but the lack of coverage on this issue is a bit extreme in my opinion.

So, read the story, spread the word and take your television news with a grain of salt. Because the fair and balanced, independent consultants are often none of the above.

where it's at

A little disclosure on how I came to Vanderbilt.

My first year teaching, I got my principal to pay for me to attend a national conference of the Counsel for Exceptional Children in New Orleans. It was an awesome experience that gave me tons of opportunities to indulge my education geek, attending various sessions of professional development and presentation of research. Seriously, it was amazing.

One standout was a literacy strand I attended, including a lecture on peer assisted learning strategies (PALS). I was enamored. I mean, here was a classroom structure and program that was not time consuming but had amazing academic and social benefits for all students, but especially those with disabilities. The presenters were from Vanderbilt University, and that made a huge impression.

Fast forward to the summer, when I attended a training in Philadelphia sponsored by the Children's Literacy Initiative. While browsing through the book store, I came across the U.S. News and World Report rankings of graduate schools, which on this occasion included the raking for special education programs. And who was at the top, but Vanderbilt.

Apparently at some point in time, they slipped down, but I'm pleased as punch to announce that I am about to graduate from the number one rated graduate school of education (and number one in special education) in the United States!

In truth? The rankings don't mean that much to me. What does mean a lot is the opportunity I've had to be taught by leaders in my field and receive an excellent education that will benefit my students and will provide professional opportunities for me.

But, for anyone who was wondering, when it comes to graduate schools for education, Vanderbilt is pretty much where it's at!

what it's like

I'm almost ready to graduate. I only have two poster sessions and two papers standing between me and the cap and gown. And for this paper (and freedom) I've only had to spend one year prostrate to the higher mind.

In class yesterday, I asked my professor for help gathering resources on parent communication for our recent graduates (as part of the project I've been working on for my adviser.) And she referred me to this description of what it's like to parent a child with a disability, titled Welcome to Holland.

At the risk of trivializing the experience of parenting a child with a disability, I want to say that my life of late has felt very much like this. See, in my version of this scenario, I had given up on the idea of Italy. Sure, I'm surrounded by people who've "been to Italy." As long as I can remember, I've wanted to "go to Italy." But I had accepted where I was. I'd bought the guidebook to Holland, was smelling the tulips, checking out the windmills and Rembrandts. I'd even bought my ice skates in preparation for winter.

Then, this guy hands me a ticket for Italy. At first I was incredulous, but I quickly embraced the idea. Sure, Holland was great, but Italy was my dream...and I was finally getting it. And then I get to the airport to find out the ticket is a forgery.

And now what? I mean, Holland still has tulips and windmills and Rembrandts. It's still not a bad place to be. But all of a sudden, I'm dreaming of Italy again...hoping to get that ticket again, not wanting to make myself too at home in Holland.

I don't know if this makes sense, or if I need to just stop whining about this. But this is what it's like.

living life

I told my brother this weekend that I felt badly for not blogging in so long. He told me not to worry about it, that I was obviously too busy living life to be blogging about it.

I wish that were entirely true. There is a lot going on, don't get me wrong. Now that my brain appears to be working again, I am trying to get caught up on all the stuff I didn't accomplish during the period of time when it was not working. And that's been a bit overwhelming.

Plus, I am really pushing against the senioritis/last semester of grad school/B's get degrees attitude I've found creeping in at the edges. I don't really feel that way, at least not most of the time. But sometimes, I really just want to be done!

But when I think about being too busy living life to blog about it, I inevitably compare it to my life before. Which really isn't fair, since I had lived in Houston for five years and put down some serious roots before I left.

My life now is probably a lot like it was my first year teaching, when I was so overwhelmed I was barely functioning socially. And now, I am at about the same level, in part because I of school stuff and in part because I sometimes just don't know how to be around people any more.

The good news? I know it won't be like this forever. I know this is just a phase and that if I can just get through it, good stuff is waiting on the other side.